Year 34

I had a birthday a little over a month ago, so I have been thinking since then about year 33 of my life and how I want to change things about my life or things I want to keep moving forward with. I am the worst person when it comes to standing in my own way. I am full of self-doubt. Never thinking that I will be good enough or that anyone will relate and want to read what I have to say. I am a huge procrastinator so none of this goes hand in hand very well. I have decided I am going to be a published author in year 34 of my life. I am just going to write from my heart and soul and that I will publish just to do it for me. I also dream out loud. I always have. I dream big as well. This year of my life I will be living out some of those dreams because as of right now I feel like I am dying a little each day because I don’t just take the leap and do it. Ya know because of self_doubt. What if I fail? Well, how can I fail if I never even try? Even if I do fail at least I even tried. I will lick my wound, pick myself back up, just like the many times I have before and I will rise from my ashes. I will make a plan and I will try again. I am the only person that is hurting myself. If I am to believe in anyone it should be me. In year 34 I will also be trying new things because life is all about the journey and the memories. What stories am I going to tell when I am old and almost out of life if I sit still treading water so I don’t drown? I am also going to love myself more. I am going to take the time to do things that make my soul happy. I am going to dance in the rain more. Feel the ground beneath my feet. I will be feeding my soul happiness as often as possible. I will be working on staying in better contact with my friends because sometimes I let life or depression or anxiety get in the way of all of that. I want to learn to run and enjoy it. I do not like running but it is something I have always wanted to do. I want to read more because I love the places books can take you even from your own couch. I want to travel more. I want to fall in love with the mountains and the ocean. I want to try new foods. I want to learn about new artists who sing from their hearts and souls. I have a game plan for every morning and it starts with making new habits for myself. That also comes with my new playlist. I am a firm believer in music. Music can make you cry when you need to, can motivate you to be your best you, can heal your heart when you need it, and speak wisdom to you in your times of doubt. If you have dreams, make a plan. Follow through. No one will hand you your dream. No one will dream your dreams. No one will love your dreams as much as you. So hustle your booty off and believe in all of your heart that you can reach them because you can. That is also something I need to learn myself and follow through with. So here’s to my Year 34! May it be my best year yet.

~Becca~

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